Sunday, February 15, 2009

Things to describe me

Over the last week I have been described as Amazing, a hero. I find this so strange. I am just a mom fighting a battle to save her life. I am surprised that people think I am amazing. I thought myself kinda regular. I guess I have accomplished much and do not realize the real struggle I am fighting now. I guess if I really thought about what I am going through and the hard road it is, I would definately quit. Lord knows I have tried many times but too many people are depending on me to just be amazing.

My husband told me over our Valentines dinner that I was beautiful! That was touching because with all the new scars from surgery and the other thing I really don't feel too beautiful. Do we often not see our selves as others do?? I am no where near perfect, (see I admited faults) but to many it appears I am a rock, an altar, Amazing. I think I need to start seeing myself as others do.

I am so amazed by the women, I see at my chemo appts. We are all worn out anf tired but some of them are dressed to the hilt and are so beautiful even with no hair. One lady told me I am going to dress to the nines to fight this battle so whether I win or lose. People will say Damn she looked good! So for my next appt I am at least going to wear lipstick. Maybe do my hair a little too. Be postive and be Amazing.

Cancer has given me a new outlook on life. Losingmy job has forced me to take a stepand consider what I want to do really. Everything will be OK as Tony always says. Thats the one thing he is always right about. We are always ok. and now we can be Amazing!

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